BoundaryScript AI

You've been quietly absorbing hours of someone else's work every week to avoid an awkward conversation — and now the resentment is building to the point where the awkwardness is coming either way.

Good news: you don't need to make this a confrontation. You just need to redirect the pattern.

One quick question before scripts: has she ever given any sign she knows this is a lot to ask, or does she seem genuinely oblivious? That changes the tone slightly. But here are scripts that work either way — start with whichever fits where you are.

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Script — Gentle Version

(Use this if you want to keep things warm and give her a chance to adjust without making it A Thing)

> "Hey, I want to be upfront about something before it becomes an issue. I've been happy to help when you get stuck, but I've noticed it's been taking up a pretty significant chunk of my time lately — like a few hours a week. I need to pull that back so I can stay on top of my own stuff. I can still answer a quick question here and there, but I can't keep doing full reviews or working through problems with you the way I have been."

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Script — Firm Version

(Use this if you've already tried hinting, or if gentle tends to get steamrolled)

> "I want to be honest with you — the 'quick looks' have turned into something closer to a few hours of my week, consistently, and I can't keep doing that. I have to protect my own time. Going forward I won't be able to review your work or troubleshoot with you the way I have been. I hope that makes sense."

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Script — Final Version

(Use this if you've said something before and nothing changed, or if you need to be unambiguous)

> "I've realized I need to stop taking on work that's outside my own scope. I won't be available to review your projects anymore. If you're running into blockers, [manager's name] or the team doc might be a better resource."

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If they say: "Oh my god, I had no idea — I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

> "I know, I should have said something sooner. No hard feelings — I just needed to say it."

Short. Warm. Done. Don't walk it back.

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If they say: "I thought we were a team / I just needed support."

> "We are, and I want to be a good teammate. But being a good teammate doesn't mean taking on parts of someone else's workload. I need to draw that line for myself."

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If they say: "I'll only ask when it's really important, I promise."

> "I hear you. I'm just not going to be the person to go to for that anymore — I need a clean break from the pattern. I think you'll be fine."

Don't negotiate the terms. "Only when it's really important" is how you end up back here in six weeks.

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If they go cold / things get weird:

That's information. You can't control the reaction — only the clarity of what you said. If the working relationship chills noticeably, a simple "We good?" a few days later is enough. Most people recalibrate once the initial sting passes.

If the requests continue after this conversation: that's when you stop explaining and just say "I'm not able to help with that" — no elaboration. Repeating the boundary without re-justifying it is what makes it stick.